 "Photo: Tory Ellis '12")
As a chronic scaredy-cat, I thought I was safe when entering the movie theater to see what couldn’t possibly be more than a superhero spoof. I was wrong, and as a warning to any fellow weaklings, do not see “Kick-Ass” if you are scared of gore, people burning to death, blood, guts, rotting bodies or any combination of the above. Spoilers ahead.
The trailer portrays a hilarious film about what it would be like if ordinary people dressed as superheroes in ridiculous costumes actually attempted to fight crime. A geeky, recently pubescent teen named Dave (Aaron Johnson) dressed in a green and yellow wetsuit as “Kick-Ass,” the newest member of the superhero clan.
Expecting to laugh the majority of the film, I was immediately concerned by the first scene which graphically showed a man in a superhero outfit committing suicide by jumping off a skyscraper. It then went on to describe Dave’s life. “Like most people my age, I just existed,” Dave stated, while being ignored in the school hallway. Dave’s mother then died of an aneurism at the dinner table. This got a chuckle out of the audience, but not from me.
I lowered my expectations and braced myself for the worst. Then Dave said that it would be ok for superheroes to exist only in comic books if that were the only place evil guys existed as well, which made me hope that the movie would get better. With “optimism and naiveté” Dave made his costume and set out to fight crime.
In his first attempt to rid the world of corruption, Dave failed epically. He got stabbed by some muggers and hit by a car, hard. He received metal plates and supports everywhere in his body, which he decided were cool because his x-rays looked like those of Wolverine’s in “X-Men.”
By this point, I felt sick to my stomach, and along came Damon Macready (Nicolas Cage), who gave a spectacularly creepy performance. He first appeared standing 20 feet from his daughter Mindy, pointing a gun at her. He reassured her that “it won’t hurt” and then shot her. It turned out she was wearing a bullet-proof vest and they were testing their weapons. Still, it did not help with my declining emotional state.
Damon and Mindy ended up being the real heroes of the film. They were crime fighters named Big-Daddy and Hit-Girl. Their nemesis Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong) is a millionaire drug lord whose son Chris is played by the well known Christopher
Mintz-Plasse from “Superbad” and “Role Models.” Frank and Chris teamed up to kill Kick-Ass, Big-Daddy and Hit-Girl by tricking Kick-Ass into helping another
“Kick-Ass” not for the faint of heart or stomachsuperhero Red-Mist, who was actually Chris D’Amico in disguise.
Eventually, good wins over evil despite endless gunfights and some tearful moments. Upon reflection, if I had known it was a true action movie, like “Spiderman” or “Batman,” I might have been prepared for the gore and enjoyed it more. Overall, actually, it was worth watching.
The cast was spectacular although I wished that Mintz-Plasse got a bigger
Tory Ellis ’12, Graphics Editorchance to be his usual hilarious self. I wracked my brain for the first hour of the film trying to think where else I had seen Johnson, only to realize that his American accent was fake and that he was the gorgeous Robbie in “Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging.” Strong also donned a flawless American accent for the film. Cage, although a creepy, weapon-obsessed, perhaps abusive father, was one awesome Batman equivalent. Then again, Cage is rarely cast as anything less awesome.
As for the costumes, they were not as convincing as true superhero outfits like Spiderman’s. Kick-Ass’ costume was a green and yellow wet-suit. Hit-Girl’s outfit consisted of a black cape and a tacky purple wig. This added to the reality of the film and showed how ridiculous it would actually be if someone tried to be a superhero.
Dave’s narration continued over most of the film. At times it was so entertaining that when he stopped narrating it sounded like the speakers had broken. His high, squeaky, awkward voice allowed for some humor in times of peril. The soundtrack also turned some of the scary fighting scenes into James Bond mixed with Shrek combos. Joan Jett’s upbeat “Bad Reputation” (covered by the Hit-Girls) played during the final battle, lightening the scene.
Would I see the film again? Probably not, as I don’t like scary movies. Did I feel like sewing a suit, buying a jetpac, and fighting crime at the end of the film? Yes indeed. The audience must treat “Kick-Ass” not as a comedy, but simply as the latest of superhero movies. Although “Kick-Ass” will never be on the same level as “The Dark Knight,” the film still “kicks ass.”
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