Over Wintersession I came across an old pro-con list when cleaning my room for the first time since the beginning of summer. I remembered that I had made the list over the previous Wintersession weighing two colleges, Wellesley and the school my older brother attends in rural Arkansas. After spending weeks writing the list, I returned for my first spring at Wellesley convinced it would be my last. The hard copy of a transfer application was filled out, and financial arrangements with the other institution were in order. I returned to Boston telling myself to have an open mind and allowed none of my friends to realize the importance of that particular semester on my future decision I would make the next summer. I wanted to make the decision on my own because I knew it would drastically change my future.
Initially, I chose Wellesley over the Arkansas college without hesitation. My older brother attended, but that was not holding me back from selecting a well-known college in an unfamiliar part of the country. Growing up in an Alabama college town, I rarely traveled and never went abroad. My mother and brother were the only other members of my blue-collar family to realize the opportunities at a school like Wellesley, so I did not think twice about attending. Interestingly, I soon would rethink this decision and grapple with difficult life questions, telling myself I did not belong in this environment.
The harsh academics or “all girls” aspect of Wellesley were not what troubled me. I missed my Southern culture and laid back life style. I felt I had overlooked the importance of family, fearing I would go out of contact with my brother and mom. The idea of becoming a “Wellesley Woman” haunted me. Looking back a year, I pity myself for thinking I had to fit a certain mold, but at the time I genuinely believed I would become the person who forgot her roots and lived through the daily grind, one day revisiting her life and searching solemnly for purpose.
These notions intensified when I set out for a Colorado road and ski trip with my brother and his social organization over Wintersession of my first year. After the vacation, I returned to Arkansas and changed my three-day visit at the school into a ten-day one. The college appealed to me because I felt safe in the comfortable rural environment; the people were similar to those I had grown up with. Other than this, the sports events were always crowded and everyone painted up at football and basketball games.
The intramural programs were great, too. I was enjoying the college life without the academics on this vacation, and my new friends were persuading me to make the change. I had essentially convinced myself that this college—a Southern school that represented many of the values I grew up with—was best for me. But now I realize that it was best for the person I was in high school, not for the person I could become upon realizing my potential and discovering confidence.
Spring break of my first year, I drove to New Orleans for a service trip with Wellesley and other New England students to rebuild homes. This trip allowed me to see that I did not have to fit any type of mold and that I could make the Wellesley experience my own. The trip combined the Wellesley motto “not to be ministered unto, but to minister” with a culture more familiar to me, and I realized I could become the Wellesley Woman I wanted to be, not one someone else had already chosen for me. After this experience, I became more involved with organizations I was interested in, and sought to hear other people’s life experiences to see I could relate with all people in some way.
Today when people ask me if I like this school, I answer assertively that I would not prefer any other place. I have changed much since high school and have been able to realize what I am passionate about. At one time I feared this completely different environment and wanted to feel safe, but once I began taking steps—even if it seemed daunting and unnecessary since I could just easily transfer—I soon saw Wellesley as my home and as a place to grow and progress. My relationships are dear to me, as is my experience in learning to step out of my comfort zone and try something different. These things cannot be explained on a pro-con list, so I am more than grateful I stayed that extra semester.
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